You date for a couple years to get used to each other. Then comes a ring and big party celebrating something that isn't even an accomplishment. (Good job. You can repeat words that some guy says to you. A parrot could do that...) You spend all your money trying to buy a "home" and a car. Then you need to get fat and leak all over the place for 9 months until it's time to squeeze something out of you. (vom so gross) You spend the next 18-25 (depending on how fast they mature) years trying to not rip your hair out trying to raise some monsters. Eventually, those kids move out and you are back at the beginning with your "one-true-love". How you can stand someone after that much time and torture is miraculous!
The next glorious years of your relationship you are supposed to watch your kids raise kids, go on adventures, and get out there and have a good time. You eventually get to the point where you are too old to do anything and you talk about the good ol' days and annoy the grandchildren or even great grandchildren(unless your lucky enough to have a kid like me). Finally, you both sit there annoying each other because you only have a few years left and you all of a sudden all the cute flaws are now annoying habits, which probably stress to the point where you die faster.
I just never understood why you would ever put yourself through that. You can choose to love someone and you can choose not to. And I'm sure some of you feel the same way out there. That it's all just a facade and those people are just rubbing it in that no one wants to play along with you. This happens a lot with us single people. You think the whole world is against you trying to show you what you're missing and sometimes you even fall for it! Don't fall for it kids. They don't have anything better. You're no better than me because you made a choice. I made a choice to eat bacon every day and that doesn't make me better than you (except it does...soo bad example but you get my point!!) My point is that I can make choices just like you and we are equals....or so I thought.
And then it happens. You see that one person....they stroll into your life and hit you like a bus. They knock you off your feet and laugh at you while you're lying on the ground. They want absolutely nothing to do with you and yet they just changed your entire life without the slightest idea that they did. And to reference my previous post, the word vomit comes and any chance you had to redeem yourself is thrown out the window. You toss and turn every night trying to dream of something other than sitting on a porch or a beach with them. For the first time ever you wish you would stop dreaming of laughing and being extraordinarily happy because you know that in reality that is far from the truth of what is happening. It's probably more agonizing to feel like this than to be in your 80's yelling at your significant other to take the coffee off the stove 20 times before they finally listen and you end up with burnt coffee.
The worst is that you just met them so if you tell them, they'll think you're doubtlessly crazy. If you don't say anything then you are just stuck feeling the way you do. Quietly-vanishing into their background because you refuse to make a splash. It's a battle of pride and honesty and pride will almost always win. We don't have the courage to share the honesty because it's not "normal". You're supposed to do that dating thing first remember? It's kind of funny how you can be fighting with yourself internally and the topic of your fight has no idea. Completely oblivious that you have feelings at all. Hopelessly in love, don't you think?
No comments:
Post a Comment