The Breakdown or How a World Can Come Crashing Down in Seconds

When I started this journey of Crossfit, I knew eventually I was going to get hurt somehow. I walked in everyday knowing that it was coming. There were days where I got rubber burn from stretching(pathetic I know), rips, bruises, and that one day I thought I broke my wrist doing wall balls...but I knew with some ice, antibiotic ointment, a band-aid, and a little love that they would get better (and they did). I felt myself getting stronger. I could lift more, go longer and go harder. It was awesome and I love that feeling. I'm addicted to it....And then my hand swelled up and I lost feeling in my right arm. My grip is a joke right now and every once in a while I get a pinching feeling in either my shoulder, under my armpit or in my elbow. What is more scary is now it is also starting to happen in my left shoulder.

I don't know if you guys are passionate about anything or not so let's put it this way....This is the start of my third month and I now get confused for being a coach. I'm there that much. Me not going is like a normal person not eating breakfast (when they normally do) or just deciding to stop breathing. I feel hopeless and bed ridden. I'm sinking back into depression and I don't know if it is worse for me  to go or stay home. When I stay home, I'm sad I'm not there. When I'm there, I'm sad that I''m pathetic. I know I should just "deal with it" and "listen to my body" and "do what you can" blah blah blah. It doesn't change the fact that I hate my stupid body right now for not being as strong as my mind and I hate my stupid mind for being smart enough not to seriously injure my body. I know that is difficult for many of you to understand because I should be smart and not hurt myself and I should be proud of my body for what it can do now. It will heal and I will be fine, but regardless I am impatient and this is horseshit!

Right?! Guess not.

***I do have a chiropractor appointment soon so I will fill you all in.