I figured I would start off this post with the song that is stuck in my head. It makes the post more relevant to something, as opposed to any other post I have written. I have been struggling this week with th emost popular question in any 20-whatever-year-old's life. What do I want to do with my life? I am not being modest. I really am not fantastic at anything. I am mediocre at many things, which is awesome, but my calling has not yet come into the picture. It is so frustrating. Why couldn't I just be born into a Russian gymnast family? I hate that I have to figure out this nonsense on my own. Self-discovery and all that emotional blahhhhhh. I have read blogs, newspaper articles, and listened to adults and they all tell me I am fine. I "still have time to figure it out". Awesome. I have time. I'm bored now!!! I want to find what I love now. Is that so much to ask? I wish I could go to sleep and wake up just know. That will never happen because you need to go out and experience life to understand which place you belong. It is hard to experience life when you are poor and the world is full of vicious people. I wish I could do what Thoreau did and live on a lake and write poems. However, I am not a poet, animals are dangerous, and murders are INSANE now. Fear outweighs the chance to grow and understand yourself nowadays, which is extremely sad. I wish I had more courage in many aspects of life. The spectrum of the things I fear is so large; it ranges from little tiny mice to plummeting towards the Earth from miles up in the air after being sucked up in a tornado. I am so scared of so many things that I am holding myself back from doing so many amazing things. This is a new day. I want to be brave. I want courage. I want to try new things and go new places to experience new things. This is the time. There is no better time than right now for me to get out there. I do not want to live with the regret of not trying things just because I am "scared". It is time to get going on my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment